I realize I may not be the target market for Gwen Stefani’s new L.A.M.B. platform sneaker line, given that it’s featured in Teen Vogue and it’s been a… couple… years since I was a wee teenager. Nonetheless, the concept of a high-heeled sneaker makes as much sense to me as astrophysics. Or a Miss Manners class led by Courtney Love. Especially when we’re expected to dole out $225 for the uncomfortable-looking suckers.

I suppose they might be appealing if you’re a height-challenged (and color blind) individual who’s always stuck in the back of aerobics class and needs a leg, er… heel… up. In which case, might I suggest you switch to Pilates and save yourself the money and embarrassment of wearing these rainbow-colored eyesores?

No, I prefer my sneaks just the way they are, thank you very much: flat, comfy and used for spinning once a year. (Or twice, if I’m feeling ambitious.)

Posted by Candy @ 4:03 pm | Comments   

Put on your thinking caps, guys! Because it’s pop quiz time!

W magazine decided to make Gwyneth Paltrow look like this because:

1. Corpse lips never go out of style

2. Their good friend, the ’70s, said it was okay to borrow their look

3. The theme of the issue is “Dude Looks Like a Lady”

4. They needed something to distract readers from giggling childishly at the headline, “Woman on Top: Jodie Foster…”

Posted by Candy @ 3:49 pm | Comments   

Cynthia Nixon at TheatreworksUSA’s Annual Free Summer Theatre Program

“WHERE is Patricia Field when I need her?!”

Posted by Candy @ 8:22 pm | Comments   

LEFT: Mary-Kate Olsen at the Los Angeles screening of Weeds

RIGHT: 50 Cent and his G-Unit in da club at the GSP Stadium

Posted by Candy @ 9:35 am | Comments   

They’re ba-ack!

Once thought to be a look only for soccer moms and Ed Grimley, high-waisted pants are now all over the place, with Jennifer Lopez*, Jessica Simpson and Mischa Barton spotted wearing jeans that button sky-high above the hips. For better — or for worse. Or for even worse.

*Ms. Lopez is a professional. Please do not try this look at home unless you are prepared for stares, ridicule and the appearance of a paunch.

Posted by Candy @ 8:33 pm | Comments   

LEFT: Jackie Chan at the Los Angeles premiere of Rush Hour 3

RIGHT: Chef Vincent Fatone at La Cucina Restaurant in Bakersfield, CA

Posted by Candy @ 8:18 pm | Comments   

Models Marisa Miller and Heidi Klum promoted the launch of the “Body By Victoria Full Coverage Uplift Bra” at a Victoria’s Secret store in L.A. today.

VS touts the boob-lifting garment as the world’s “first combination of a full-coverage silhouette and uplift construction bra in a variety of shapes and coverage.” It is available in sizes 34-38 A-DD and costs between $38-$45 — likely depending on which letter of the alphabet you wear.

“Uplift construction”… when did it become necessary to attend architecture school to design a bra?

Posted by Candy @ 12:21 pm | Comments   

Jane’s recent demise has resulted in some unexpected uncertainty for The Fashionista Diaries, a new SOAPnet reality series that’s been following Rachel Jacoby and Andrew Kanakis, two assistants that work(ed) at the magazine.

Oh, the drama!

The Fashionista Diaries‘ film crews have been following Jacoby, Kanakis and four other assistants as they sharpen their skills in the world of fashion, beauty and publishing by working at three different companies: Flirt Cosmetics; Seventh House PR; and Jane, which is, er… was published by Conde Nast. (In other words, one big advertisement for Flirt and Seventh House. Well-played, my friends. Well-played, indeed.)

However, despite Jane’s shutdown, Jacoby and Kanakis won’t be completely out of a job, as a SOAPnet spokeswoman told Reality TV World that Jacoby and Kanakis will “absolutely remain” two of the assistants featured on The Fashionista Diaries. They’ll just be creatively “reassigned.”

And we will ALL sleep better knowing that. Phew!

The Fashionista Diaries is scheduled to premiere Wednesday, August 1 at 9PM ET/PT on SOAPnet. Can’t wait for the first adrenaline-fueled episode: “Dear Diary: Almost went with a kitten heel this morning, but decided to go with the stiletto. The hardest decision I’ve had since the Ferragamo vs. Chloé debate of 2005. Hugs, kisses, and Louboutins… The Fashionista”

Yeah, who am I kidding? You know I’m totally going to watch it.

Posted by Candy @ 2:30 pm | Comments   

I know, I know. I’m thinking the same thing…

Bai Ling at an Inspi(RED) event in Hollywood

The bow is a bit much.

Posted by Candy @ 1:43 pm | Comments   

Despite earlier reports that the Spice Girls had found their much-needed fairy style godmother in the shape of one Miss Donatella Versace, who was said to be designing $400,000-worth of designer stage outfits for their comeback reunion tour — a spokesperson for Versace has denied that this is the case. “It’s simply not true,” he told Vogue.com. “I have no idea where the rumors have come from.” (As Posh averts her eyes.)

In response to the bad news, Posh continued not to smile and the group vowed to nonetheless enhance their look with Donatella’s signature accessories: collagen and excessive tanning.

Posted by Candy @ 5:13 pm | Comments